A wide-angle lens and a blessing

 One of the privileges of aging is acquiring a wide-angle lens in the camera of our memories. We can see from the back (sometimes way back) to the tomorrows in the family line. The march of the generations comes into sharper focus. And we come to appreciate the wisdom of the Preacher in Ecclesiastes: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” (3:1).

There is a time to be born, says the Preacher, and a time to die, in addition to a time for all the other important life events. The ancient Israelites commemorated the Big Stuff by erecting stone altars of remembrance. We become like rock collectors, erecting stone altars in our memories for births, weddings, more births, and, of course, deaths. And the generations march on. Soon we’ll be another memory to our loved ones (hopefully a good memory).

“A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” We weep and mourn in the season of death. But we laugh and dance at weddings.

This passing of seasons, times, and generations became especially poignant for me this last weekend. Gwen Amahoro Thomas married Matthew Burgi. Gwen is our granddaughter, third child of our son.

In the weeks before the wedding I remembered our wedding 53 years ago, its simplicity and celebration, and what a new stage of life it initiated. I remembered the weddings of our son and daughter, weddings which marked another transition, not just for the new families, but for us as parents of married kids. We were very involved in the weddings of both kids, in planning, helping write the vows and blessings, even in actually officiating in our capacity as pastors. That created a huge stone of memory.

But there’s something different about the wedding of a grandchild. For one thing, we weren’t involved in the details of planning; that was the privilege of their parents. The clothes were similar, but different too. My best friend made my wedding dress, plus the matching gowns of my two bridesmaids. My daughter spent “big bucks” on her gorgeous wedding dress, which made her look like a southern belle. My granddaughter Gwenie purchased her wedding gown at a thrift store and had it altered to fit. I love it!

The ceremony and following reception were, indeed, times of laughter and dancing. Hal and I didn’t dance at our wedding; Friends disapproved. Matt and Gwen waltzed, but then the real dancing began with all sorts of lively rhythms and movements, including line-dancing. If I didn’t have dizzy-issues, I would have joined; Hal is still a “good Quaker.”

The bride and groom had asked two sets of grandparents to participate in the wedding. (Again, the generations!) Matt’s grandparents, Phil and Kay Burgi, read the Scriptures. Hal and I got to read the blessing.

I wrote life-blessings for each of my seven grandchildren before they were born. And now I’m beginning to write marriage blessings. This one was on behalf of the extended family and friends of the couple. We read it at the beginning of the ceremony, right after David and Debby “gave away” their daughter.

 

A Wedding Blessing
for Matt and Gwen
July 29, 2022

What an exciting and blesséd time this is.
We’ve watched you gradually grow from friendship to love
and now to marriage.

This is only the beginning.

We, your family and friends, bless you on this day
with our prayers that God grant you…. 

--a determination to always have Jesus as the heart of your home,

--an increasing joy as you come to know each other
better through the years and the freedom
to always be yourselves with each other,

--a spirit of fun and play, no matter
the circumstances you find yourselves in,

--lots of plants and pets that co-exist in harmony
 (meaning the pets don’t eat the plants),

--an abundance of creativity that serves and blesses the world—
whether poems or paintings, windmills or water-purifying plants,

--respect and good communication,
the willingness to say “I’m sorry,” as well as “I love you,”

--wisdom and joy as parents, according to God’s plans,

--a growing love for each other that expands
into compassion for and service to
people around the world, wherever God may send you.

What an adventure you’re on!
Know that God accompanies you at each stage of the journey.
And know that we, your family and friends,
will continue to support you, pray for you, and bless you
with our love.

[With love from Grandma and Grandpa Thomas,
on behalf of many]

                                                   Sisters

                    David, Debby, Gwen, Matt, Gwenie's siblings