Curiouser and Curiouser

 

One of the secrets of graceful aging, so we’re told, is being what is known as a Life-Long-Learner—maintaining a curious spirit and actively seeking to learn more about ourselves and our world. Curiosity may kill cats (a dubious proposition in itself) but it seems to add spice to the aging process. “Curiouser and curiouser” as Alice in Wonderland puts in, as she follows the White Rabbit, looking in amazement at the wonders around her.

Sometimes growing old feels like going down a rabbit hole, wondering where we’ll end up (or down). But paying attention to the experience helps keep us young in spirit for a longer time.

This retirement home offers many opportunities for learning experiences. A Community Life Director, plus a residents education committee make sure there’s always something going on. This last month we had weekly Bible studies, an ongoing (six weeks) college level class on the geology of the Northwest, art classes (card making and book binding), regular musical recitals, various book club meetings, a weekly movie, a lecture on hummingbirds, and an informational presentation by a member of the city council. The fact that a university is right across the street also helps; retirement community residents get special auditors rates. And, of course, we have a library full of copies of The Great Courses. Hal and I have taken the 24-lecture course on particle physics, and now I’m going through How To Play the Guitar.

In other words, there’s no excuse for mental stagnation. There’s no end of new stuff to learn.

Even so, I’m often brought short by my ignorance. There are things that I should know by this time in life but that I’ve never even wondered about. For example, what my name means. Oh, I know the meanings of my first and middle names; Nancy means grace and Jane also means grace. I’ve called myself God’s double-whammy grace child. Hal’s first name means warrior and his (our) last name, Thomas, means twin. Put that all together and it seems like we are alike, going into battle but depending on grace to sort it all out. OK—now I’m being silly.

But not too long ago he asked my what my maiden name, Forsythe, meant. And I didn’t know. In fact, I’d never even wondered about it or tried to investigate it. Of all things, that’s something I should have figured out long ago. So I wrote a poem, of course.

Thinking about My Name

This morning Hal asked the meaning
of my maiden-name, Forsythe,
and I realized that, not only did I not know,
but that I had never even thought about it.
Me, the lover of words and their meanings,
I had never wondered about my name,
a name that might have hinted of my destiny.
I guess there are many things
I’ve never thought about,
important things, things deep and surface,
thoughts that could impact my life
if only I would think them.
I’m tempted to shame at my thoughtlessness
but I choose excitement instead.
I anticipate all the many thoughts out there,
teasing me, inviting me, awaiting my curiosity.
I will think them all.
I will investigate and ponder.
In fact, this very day
I will google my name.
Find out who I am.

(Note: I found out that Forsythe comes from Gaelic roots and means “man of peace.” Being an equal opportunity believer, I can convert that to “person of peace” or even “woman of peace.” Great name.)

Here are some things I want to learn this year:
--the names of the trees on the Hess Creek trail and in Champoeg Park
--some new recipes
--more life stories of the people around me
--a new poet
--new (to me) hiking/walking trails in this county (experientially know)

I hope to be like Alice in Wonderland, growing curiouser and curiouser as I follow the White Rabbit of new knowledge and experiences. I will chase new thoughts. A world of wonders awaits.

The ultimate exercise for the elderly

 I faced my usual dilemma this morning. To go or not to go. The Strong for Life exercise program is geared to people my age, but it’s vigorous enough to raise a sweat and create an occasional muscle ache.

I didn’t sleep well last night, one part of me says. Yes, but regularity in your exercise is very important, says another inner voice. Oh shut up! I already know that; besides I’m retired and shouldn’t have to do that kind of stuff, replies the first voice, and on it goes. Well, this morning I can proudly report that my more vigorous and intelligent self won. I went to the class. It doesn’t always turn out that way.

Strong for Life is only one of the fitness opportunities this retirement community offers. Resident fitness, it seems, is one of the values of those who run this community. We have core exercise classes (the most strenuous, for the younger old people among us), tai-chi, yoga, Sit and Be Fit, line dancing, swimming, and trail-walking excursions. I’m sure I left out something. Plus we have a well equipped exercise room with a variety of machines for strength or cardio workouts.

So, we have no excuse for not being as fit as we can be for our age. (Correction: I can usually come up with an excuse.)

Part of the value of Strong for Life is the fellowship of kindred sufferers. We pretty much occupy the same space in the room each time and have become a kind of family. Both men and women, a few couples, we’re in different stages of the aging process. Some park their walkers by their chairs. We can doing the standing up exercises not touching the chair, hanging on to the chair, or sitting in the chair, all of this while following the smiling young woman on the big screen. This morning at the end of the 45-minute session, we applauded, not so much in appreciation, but because we were glad it was over.

It’s well documented that, in order to thrive, we older people need regular exercise, lots of water, good nutrition, a full night’s sleep, and at least one serving of dark chocolate a day. Not to mention that early morning cup of coffee.

Recently I discovered on the Internet the perfect exercise for people over 65. It seems challenging, but it’s totally doable, with time and patience. I encourage you to read it over then begin immediately, and see what happens. Here it is:

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 65

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

2. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there for as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax

3. Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a little longer.

4. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

5. Then try 50-lb potato bags, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight out for more than a full minute. (I’m at this level.)

6. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

                     (Michele Jackson, usOWLS.com, 2016, used with permission)

You can do it! Let’s get fit!

Will you be my (elderly) valentine?

 It’s Valentines Day in the retirement community, and love is in the air!

It’s also on our doors. The Community Life department has instituted what appears to be an annual Valentines Day contest. Several weeks ago, we all received a red piece of paper with a large heart on it. Our instructions were to decorate it in any way we wanted and to put in on our door. This is a contest, we were told, with prizes (or not—I don’t remember that part). Some good American competition to spur us along!

Actually, only some residents get excited about this artistic challenge. A good number think it’s silly and ignore the whole thing. The neighborhood I belong to is one of the enthusiastic floors, meaning about a third of the rooms have valentine art up on their doors. I am ambivalent; I think it’s sort of silly, but I’ve done it anyway. Entered the contest. After I, I don’t want to be a wet blanket. Not in this cold weather.

I’ve enjoyed walking through the different neighborhoods and seeing the artwork. A common theme is wedding photos, black and white, of course, as most of us couples got married a very long time ago. Many widows and a few widowers also decorate wedding photos in honor of the one they lost. A lot of the artwork is spiritual with pictures of Jesus or verses of Scripture. And some of the door-art is downright funny, in full disrespect of the deep purposes of Valentines Day. These are my favorites.

Here is a sampling, taken from last year and this year:

 

I drew a somewhat misshapen heart (not being a fan of symmetrical) and put a quirky love poem (not being a fan of Hallmark) in the middle.

A Sort Of Love Poem

When I say

thus and such

and you respond with

such and that

I almost begin to realize

that you didn’t at all understand

my this and there

thinking it instead to be

otherwise

and then I correcting spout

how as what

but you come back with

why and wherefore

and I meaning to point out

because furthermore and

therefore….

Oh, forget it!

Come kiss me.

I’ll probably not win the prize.

In a more serious tone, one of my favorite poems on love between a couple who have been married a long time is by Wendell Berry. It gives tribute to the value of a seasoned love where friendship has grown and the couple continue to enjoy their life together. There are couples like that in this community and I’m thankful for them.

The Wild Rose

Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart,

suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose blooming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade,

and once more I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before.

When it’s all said and done, I have to admit that there's lots of love in this old growth forest.

So many choices, so little time

 The time/choices cliché came back to me last week as our retirement community held its annual activity fair. It used to be called the “committee fair,” but the term committee has almost become a bad word to those of us who retired hoping to leave behind the world of committees, duties, and deadlines. So now we have “activity groups.”

And they’re a good thing, these activity groups. The life of the whole community here is motivated, organized, and run by us residents. And since we have lots of great ideas, the groups proliferate. No need to be bored or to feel useless. And each groups offers not only good stuff to do and ways to serve, but relationships and new friends to be made—the real heart of the community.

We used the auditorium for the fair, with each activity group displayed at the tables spread around the perimeter. Colors, conversations, and lots of excitement circulated, giving the event almost the feel of a circus.

So much to choose from. Groups representative were ready to hear questions, offer explanations, and recruit new members. Altogether, we have between 30 and 40 groups. Here’s a sample:

The Lobby Décor group undertakes the task of making the large lobby of the campus’s central building a welcoming, beautiful place. They work with another activity group, Art on the Walls, to incorporate art work by local artists. It’s often better than an art museum.

The aforementioned Art on the Walls group also makes sure all the halls and meeting places are adorned with “real art,” rather than the stuff in the waiting rooms of doctors’ offices. The pictures are periodically changed, making walking down the halls a pleasant occasion.

Several groups focus on our response of gratitude to the staff who serve us in the retirement community. One such group raises money to help different workers further their education, and another finds other ways to express appreciation, including gift cards at Christmas.

I love the Library Activity Group, because I love our community library, open 24/7. (It’s “serve yourself” in the middle of the night.) The Studio Arts Group sponsors different kinds of art classes, plus time, materials, and space for people to work on their own projects. The Fitness Group helps organize the different exercise classes, and sponsors events like trail walks, and trips to bowling alleys and archery ranges. The Collections Display Team gives residents a chance to display their collections and makes the walk to the dining room an education in itself. The different Garden groups represent our two campuses and help run the community gardens. We also have an Education group, a Health and Safety group, a group that encourages recycling and environmental care, a Market Place group, a Spiritual Care group, and at this point I’m know I’m leaving some important groups out, so please forgive me if it’s your group and you happen to be reading this. (I didn’t mention my group, by the way.)

If all this leaves you panting, you have good reason. It leaves me with my own dilemma.

It’s the perennial problem of letting myself become over-committed. When we first moved here, I decided not to sign up for any committee for at least a year, and then only what I felt drawn to by my own interests and experience. I managed to do that for a couple of years.

I actually thought that when I retired, I would never need to face the challenge of being over-committed again. Ho. Ho. Talk about naivety. You see, it’s not just membership in officially registered Activity Groups; it’s that plus all the informal commitments to conversation groups, book clubs, and writers groups, the stuff that makes life so interesting. I can’t think of anything I want to drop out of.

But, enough is enough. I find that when I’m involved in a lot of stuff, even Good Stuff, life gets noisy and I begin to long for silence. I can forget my priorities and vocational calling. But that’s another subject.

I’m grateful for this community and all these good options.

It’s just that right now I need to figure out how to gently let go of some things.

And how to choose what to hang on to.

Please tell me how you do it.