Sentimental “P”

Do you have a favorite color? How many times have people asked you that? You probably have an answer; for me it’s all shades of blue. People have favorite colors. We also have favorite songs, favorite flowers, favorite fruit, and sometime favorite Bible verses or poems, although these tend to change with time. It’s part of our humanness to have personal tastes and perspectives.

But a favorite letter of the alphabet? Who has one of those?

Well, I do.

It all started when I was three years old. My parents valued education and wanted to give me a head start, so they began teaching me the alphabet song. It’s bouncy and easy to memorize, even if it doesn’t make any sense. And it didn’t, at first.

You know it—a,b,c,d,e,f,g and so on. The problem was the middle part. The letters between k and p are sung at a faster rate and they run together. My child brain couldn’t separate the sounds or repeat them. It was “blahblahblahblah p.”

I finally figured it out with the help of my mom’s favorite song on the radio. I now know that the song was called “Sentimental Journey.” The word I glopped onto was “sentimental.” It had just the right number of syllables and could be said quickly. So I resolved the conflict with a “sentimental p.” It worked and now I could sing the whole song.

When I asked my mom what “sentimental” meant, she said something about feeling kind and loving toward something. Without any logical reflection (remember, three-years-old) I began bonding with such a sweet good-natured letter. I hoped I could be like the letter p when I grew up.

I did grow up, of course, and became somewhat more logical. I’ve since learned the alphabet in various languages and have left behind any romantic fantasies about individual letters. But childhood affections run deep and I’ll admit to still having warm feelings about the letter p.

Think of all the great words than begin with p. There’s peace, pleasure, poetry, plecostomus(1), passion, plethora, panorama, pantheon, people, prayer, poplar, ponder. I could go on and on, but you get the point. A marvelous letter. What’s not to love?

During my active adult years, I frequently pondered my life’s priorities. Over time I came to understand that God was calling me vocationally into three ways of being: prayer, poetry, and people. I did not intentionally try to find vocations that began with the letter p. Call it coincidence. I’ve always felt drawn to prayer, both in terms of mystical contemplative prayer and the more active intercessory prayer for the needs of the world. I’ve been a poet since age seven. And as a child of God I’m drawn to relationship, friendship, family—in short, people.

These were to be my priorities no matter what else was going on in my life. And plenty was going on. Education, marriage, kids, career, committees, church stuff, crises, and all the busy-ness that takes time and sucks energy. “Real life” it’s called. And so it’s been a challenge all my life to live out my priorities. I’ve had to be deliberate.

And sometimes it didn’t work. I’ve known long periods of prayerlessness. Several years I only managed to write a few uninspired poems. People were always around, of course, but I’ve known lean times in terms of genuine friendship.

And yet the Spirit never let me forget my vocations. No matter how much I wandered, I always circled home.  Prayer, poetry, and people.

Now that I’m retired, I’m realizing that the pressure of “real life” no longer needs to be a barrier. I’m free to give actual time to learning how to pray. I can clear space everyday to sit in silence and let the poems emerge. I can know and enjoy the people in my life, including my own family and all my neighbors in this community. I have time to listen.

This is all ideal, of course. “Real life” follows us into retirement communities, and it is totally possible to become wrapped up in a tangle of committees, obligations, and unnecessary commitments. But, the thing is, it’s more of a choice now. I can say NO. (I repeat to myself as needed, “I can say NO.”) And, of course, I am still human. I have bad days where I don’t give a hoot for priorities and want nothing to do with the letter p. Somedays, I wake up grumpy and, perversely, I enjoy it.

But eventually, the Spirit interrupts my complaints, reminds me I now have time to be who God made me to be. He draws me home again.

These are the so-called “golden years.” There’s gold hidden in the floor of this old growth forest.

Lord, help me to mine the gold by living out my priorities. Please. (Another great p-word, by the way.)

 (1)  Footnote: The plecostomus, otherwise known as the “suckermouth catfish,” is helpful in cleaning up algae in fish tanks. This is your factoid for the day.