A strange phenomenon

 Recently I tuned in to a TV documentary. It was a series that explored strange phenomena, anything from UFOs to Brazilian insects or ancient civilizations. This particular week’s topic was the phenomenon of old ladies.

Who are they? Where did they come from? How long have they existed? What threat do they pose to contemporary life?

Images flashed across the TV screen, scenes of the clichéd aproned mid-western grandmother, apple pie in hand; the fashionable silver-haired Broadway babe; and various crones from around the world, care-worn and grim-faced. Old ladies all.

The show’s moderator was an earnest yet engaging professorial type in a casual sweater and tie, fairly old himself. He introduced the expert from Harvard University. Dr. Hershberger, dean of the department of gerontology, is currently leading a team of researchers doing an in-depth investigation of the relationship between the percentage of old ladies in a given society and the amount of street violence in that same context. The expert was poised on the cusp of a serious comment …

when I woke up.

I chuckled and wondered what that was all about.

It reminds me of a quote by Dorothy Sayers: “Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.”

I guess we can be pretty scary creatures.

I wonder what, if anything, my subconscious was trying to tell me with that dream. I don’t personally feel like I’m a scary person and I can’t imagine me starting a street riot. I barely have the energy to participate in a protest march for a cause I believe in.

I do sometimes scare myself, like when I’m walking downtown and catch my reflection in a store window. So old! That white hair! That can’t be me! But it is.

I worry myself more than frighten myself. If I get so tired today, what will I be like in ten years? What happens when our pension runs out? When will I lose my balance and fall? (That almost seems inevitable.) What if my grandkids get bored and don’t come to see me anymore? And on and on.

Old age is definitely a phenomenon, although not likely one to be featured on a program of strange and exotic creatures. We're all too common. We’re everywhere!

Maybe the heart of this dream is the realization that I sometimes seem strange and exotic to myself. Weird might be a better word. I never planned on being old. As a young person, I knew that would never happen to me. I knew I would die someday, but the road to death was blurry. Unthinkable. That’s why a glance at my reflection now disorients me.

I think I need to reorient my perspective and laugh. I may frighten myself at times and worry myself, but I can also make myself laugh. After all, that was a pretty preposterous dream.

I will remind myself that I’m am a beloved daughter of my heavenly Father. I am also beloved by the people I love and that some of them even think I’m beautiful. (Imagine that!) I will remind myself that I can still make a contribution to the welfare and happiness of others. I can write poems, pray for my grandchildren, teach a class (occasionally), encourage others, edit a journal of stories, vote in the elections, and play Mexican Train.

Maybe we are sort of strange (depending on who’s looking at us). Maybe some academics do study us—our habits, relationships, medications, sleep patterns, emotions, and so on. Maybe some people see us as a phenomenon of nature rather than as regular persons. And maybe we are scary to some people.

Actually, the scary part sounds like fun!