You Are Old, Father William

When my friend Harriet was in the last months of her life (at 104 years old!), I continued our practice of reading books aloud. The last one we read was Alice in Wonderland and, when Harriet had not fallen asleep, she laughed along with me.

We especially enjoyed the silly poems, one of which, “You Are Old, Father William,” I have copied below. Like all Lewis Carroll’s nonsense poems, there’s a lot of sense hiding in the background. This poem features the contest between young and old, the young being the son who is scolding his father for inappropriate behavior. The son is a bit of a know-it-all but the father doesn’t let it affect him.

You Are Old, Father William
By Lewis Carroll

 "You are old, father William," the young man said,
    "And your hair has become very white;
  And yet you incessantly stand on your head —
    Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

  "In my youth," father William replied to his son,
    "I feared it would injure the brain;
  But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
    Why, I do it again and again."

  "You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
    And have grown most uncommonly fat;
  Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door —
    Pray, what is the reason of that?"

  "In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
    "I kept all my limbs very supple
  By the use of this ointment — one shilling the box —
    Allow me to sell you a couple."

  "You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
    For anything tougher than suet;
  Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak —
    Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

  "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
    And argued each case with my wife;
  And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
    Has lasted the rest of my life."

  "You are old," said the youth; one would hardly suppose
    That your eye was as steady as ever;
  Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose —
    What made you so awfully clever?"

  "I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
    Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
  Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
    Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"

I like this poem because of the way it pokes fun of the social expectations of what is appropriate behavior and appearance for old people. Maybe this was truer in the Victorian era when Carroll wrote his books, but the pressures exist today too. I resist conforming to the stereotypical images of “old lady” or “old man” and I know many of you do too. While I don’t intend to try back-somersaults or balancing an eel on my nose, I hope my actions and appearance can at least reflect a young spirit.

Way to go, Father William!