Life marches on, with celebration!

 On Saturday, June 7, we celebrated the wedding of our grandson Aren to his beloved Anna. The bride was beautiful, the groom could not stop smiling, the worship was rich, and the joy in the whole gathering was palpable. Too many superlatives? Not really. As the grandma, I am totally objective. There’s never been a wedding like this one!

The whole event began on Friday with the rehearsal at the venue (an old picturesque barn 45 minutes outside of Newberg). The rehearsal was followed by a lunch for the wedding party back in Newberg on the campus of George Fox University. It was large as the wedding party included 10 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen. Aren and Anna have a lot of close friends! It was an open-mic time and many people shared about their experiences with the bride and groom and gave advice, some wise, some funny. Then we all gathered around Aren and Anna to pray.

On Saturday we rode with our son and daughter-in-law (Aren’s parents) to the wedding, arriving at 2:30 to help with last minute stuff. The wedding was at 3:30, outdoors in the heat (we were all given fans). The very meaningful ceremony was followed by a time of visiting and fellowship in the barn with platters of meats, cheeses, crackers, nuts and fruit. The word abundance comes to mind. The dinner began at 6:00, followed by more speeches and prayers. And finally, let the dancing begin! The music was lively; they even danced to “Splish, Splash, I Was Takin’ a Bath” (from my high school years).

Anna’s extended family and friends had come in from Chicago and Wisconsin, plus there were guests from Ruanda, Moracco, France, Bulgaria, and Mexico. Like I mentioned, Aren and Anna have lots of friends.

Hal and I left early (after 7 hours of celebration!) and so missed the send-off. But we left with joyful hearts. We know God’s blessing is on this couple who plan to live and serve in North Africa.

I felt honored as Aren and Anna had asked me to write and read the wedding blessing. “Make it as long as you want, Grandma!” Aren had told me. I did, however, use some restraint. I got to read the blessing at the beginning of the ceremony. I’m going to end this blog with the blessing: 

Marriage Blessing
Aren Thomas and Anna Town
June 7, 2025

Aren and Anna,

We, your family and friends who love you, gather with you today to witness your vows, affirm the path you’ve chosen, and get really really happy as we see your joy in each other.

Growing up in two different continents, you met on a third continent. Your friendship has been global from the beginning, and it’s about to become more so. Your two different streams are becoming one new river of faith that will go out into the world.

You bring together certain differences. In some ways it seems like hyper-activity marrying serenity. You’re creating a unique blend of adventure and common sense, of idealism and practicality. That blending is your strength.

Today we bless you with our prayers for the following:

n -- A growing commitment to open communication with each other; a wise use of words to explore, reveal, challenge, solve problems, make laugh, heal, and bless.

n  --Beauty in the places you go—places with mountains, rivers, deserts, wild flowers, and beasts you’ve never seen before. And beauty in the people you’ll meet in those places—people who will become friends.

n -- A combination of exciting adventures and the deep peace of being under God’s protection—both at the same time.

n  --Creativity by the bucketful—new paintings, recipes, pottery mugs and critters; new ideas and new ways of handling old tasks.

n  --Humor in the people you meet, in the strange things people say without meaning to, in your own mistakes, in each other, and in all the stuff life brings your way (even the hard stuff).

n -- Great food—the discovery of new dishes around the world, and in your own home—cooking it and serving it to others; a ministry of hospitality.

n  --Children—your own, God willing, and those you meet wherever you go. Kids to be silly with, tell stories to, listen to, build Lego fortresses and dragons in the sand with, to love and care for.

n  --Businesses built, restaurants opened, workers trained, people transformed because you loved and accompanied them.

n  --With all the moving and the possibility of living in different places, a sense of permanence and stability that comes from your relationship with each other and with God.

n  --Growth in grace and in knowing Jesus.

Two streams converging into a river in God’s kingdom. May you always hear the voice of the One who walks by your side as he says, “I will be with you always, even to the ends of the earth.”

We bless you on this, your wedding day.

                            With Aren's sisters

                            Parents of the groom

                                Happy couple

                                Happy grandparents

Old romance

 One of the more interesting aspects of life in the retirement community is the presence of romance. Who would have thought it? But the fact of so many widows, widowers, and other singles living in close proximity means we all should have thought it.

Romance happens among the aging population. It certainly happens around here.

One thing I’ve noticed is that the protagonists of these love stories try to keep it secret for as long as they can. But people here are very interested. They notice things, like how some have a habit of sitting together in the dining room. They notice little things. And they talk.

A few years back a horticultural expert gave a lecture on old growth forests in Oregon. I found fascinating the information about the underground fungal network that connects the trees and allows them to actually communicate. That image grew into a metaphor and inspired the following poem:

Old Romance

The trees talk.
Leaves seem to whisper and
below the understory
swimming from root to root
a vast fungal network
channels messages of danger,
drought, and radical change.
Between species
across the miles
the unspoken word goes forth.

Don’t think you can keep it secret.
This particular forest has many leaves
all fluttering in the least rumored breeze.
And deep underground
the mushrooms are on the move.

 

One of the most interesting stories is that of Sam and Therese, both in their 80s. For the past several years it became evident to all how comforting and encouraging their companionship was to each other. In 2020, in the middle of the pandemic, they decided to get married. As large gatherings were prohibited at the time, Sam and Therese, accompanied by only a handful of family and friends, married under the gazebo in the community garden. Some of us watched from the upstairs windows that faced the garden. It was a simple Quaker wedding.

Sam is a life-long Quaker; Therese a life-long Catholic. Love does not take that into account. Yet it does matter. Since the wedding, Therese had expressed a desire to have a Catholic ceremony to bless their union.

The outworking of that desire proved complicated, involving legalities and procedural negotiations. Hal and I, along with a few other residents of our community, worked with Sam and Therese to help make possible her desire. We finally found a young priest in a neighboring town who was willing to work with us. All of this took place over a period of several months.

Finally, in the early part of this year, 2022, a small group gathered with Sam and Therese in a lovely old Catholic church. With all the ritual and symbolism the Catholic Church does so well, the priest validated and blessed the marriage. In many ways, the ceremony was like a Protestant wedding, with readings from Scripture, a homily from the priest, and the exchanged vows.

The ritual addressed the union of a Catholic with a Protestant. At one point mid-service, the priest, reading from his book, asked Sam if he was willing to raise the children of their union in the Catholic faith. He then looked up from his book and chuckled. We all chuckled. He then briefly explained that ritual process requires him to ask that question, no matter the ages of the couple. Sam good-naturedly promised to raise their babies Catholic.

After the service and the presentation of the couple, we congratulated them, all of us happy and laughing. Therese reached out to touch the priest’s arm, smiled at him, and said, “You know, you’re just a baby.” More chuckles.

The presence of romance among the aging is one of the things that adds life and color to this forest. It’s always a bit surprising. But the joy is contagious. All the trees seem to be laughing.

NOT Sam and Therese

[Sam and Therese gave enthusiastic permission for posting this story.]